Here Comes The Bride; Leanne Keil Edition!

So tomorrow is a big day. Big day for my sweet, weird and loving friend Leanne Keil. First of my friends to get married.

Im excited for her. I’m also scared. I wonder if it’s too soon. But how will you ever know right? She’s a smart girl, a straight A student who’s in love with one of the sweetest guys i have ever come to know. seriously, perfect he is. tolerant and never loses his cool. Just the kindda guy you'd like your friend to share her life with But there’s wrong time for the right things. as much as i am a die-for- love, live-for-love kindda guy, i’m in doubt, if it's too soon? Now, they have been in love forever, and i hope they will ever after too.

It’s a crazy ride. i’m excited to see her as a bride. I’m sure she’s gonna make one amazing one although it’s gonna be a casual, oh-so-too-much-fun beach wedding. Just like the time they randomly bumped into each other in hikka when her brother had taken off with her room keys and clothes! They met, they spoke, They smoked up, shared numbers and then lost it but then she remembered his birthday party invitation he lent that night and dropped by to quickly wish him, but he never let her go. Literally! It has all the right makings of a fairy tale and that’s just the way i want it to be for her!!! Here’s hoping and wishing all the love and luck and wealth and happiness and kids you need!!!

Love you both.
18.06.2010.

Only Thing That Matters When You Love Someone!

Life is all about choices. It’s funny how the choice you make when you’re 18 still can affect you when you’re 22. Whenever you fall in love, it feels like this is it. Whenever someone breaks your heart, it feels like the end of the world. And then comes along someone who makes you feel like all the pain is worth it, all over again. You bet your heart, you bet your soul, sometimes not knowing even little as if they like Taylor swift. Choices, sometimes so small just like those nuclear molecules that destroyed two whole cities. Just so you know, consequences are still felt to date! We have to decide what we want in life. Unless you want to go through your whole life looking life Beyonce in that Gaga video, seems to be having fun but uncomfortable and with an I-so-don’t- belong- here-face. It’s not always easy. Sometime we make mistakes. We all do. And we all might not be so lucky as Beyonce to be having a blast while we live through those moments.

Choices are funny. We know what’s unhealthy, we know what hurts, we know what’s not good but it’s not always easy walking away. If I could, I would walk away. I don’t even know what I’m here for. Maybe I just know how to love someone who’s not perfect perfectly. But the worst thing is knowing and making that mistake. Over and over again. Watching out for those emotional landmines just to step on them ntentionally. Just to blow your heart into million pieces to know you’re still alive. The realization thriugh pain that you’re still truly, madly and deeply in love with a loser who’s not so different to all the other losers. Like some kindda addiction but it’s not always about what’s right or wrong but who’s responsible for them. Sometimes we don’t dare take the safest road, sometimes we don’t think twice before jumping head first, its all about who’s waiting at the end of the tunnel. And where the fun in jumping if you don’t jump head first anyway? So what if we fall in love? What if we take a chance? What if it hurts?

In life we all get hurt; again it’s all a choice. People can hurt you only if you let them. But we let them anyway, with our hands down and call it love. We will get over them any moment we want to. We don’t choose who we fall in love with and we can’t certainly choose when to walk away. Maybe that’s a lie! Maybe we can choose but we don’t want the defeat. Maybe love is a trap. Ones who can believe are the lucky ones; Fools! It sucks. It hurts. But the heart wants what the heart wants, even if its heartache. Maybe somewhere something went wrong. Maybe the heart and head should switch places. Cos I rather lose my mind than being hurt! I don’t know what it even means, all I know is that heartbreak’s a bitch but yet I can’t look away when you smile. I may have the most brainless heart and the most conscious dick; maybe we could’ve been better off if I had it the other way.

But when you love some, only one thing matters, everything!!!

The difference between wishful thinking and denial is hope. You can keep hoping and wishing for your happy ever after until you lose even the will of “right now,” but the thing about fairytales is we all want our happy endings but too easily we forget that before they got there, there were poisonous portions, fire breathing dragons, vicious godmothers and all sorts of unfortunate tragedies. Only the faithful ones survived it. Nobody got their happy ending on a silver platter. Love is magical. One who can believe may be the lucky ones but what do u hold on to when your prince is on stray. Probably those pretty princesses didn’t know about STD’s and how to stalk on facebook.

That’s the thing, we hope against reality and love without limits but is it really love or are we just too afraid to end up in our castle alone? We take risks, we kiss another frog, everything is optional, and everything is a choice. Things so insignificant, have you ever wondered what life would’ve have been like if you didn’t sign up on facebook? What if you had never seen him smile? Wishful thinking or denial I don’t know but I just want us to go back to the way we were. Even if you only break, break, my break, break my heart!!!

But I’m an optimist. Love doesn’t have to hurt; at least it doesn’t have to hurt the whole freaking time. It’s a Beautiful mess, all the organized chaos we bring into our lives, Because when you love someone, only one thing matters, nothing!

I Will Walk Away Slowly!

I'm just gonna sit here,
A moment longer.
Why don’t you just jump up and down on my heart
A little bit longer.
I will pick up all the pieces
And walk away slowly...
Don’t worry,
I will never be fine.
It’s like you suck the life out of me.
Its like you suck the happiness out of me.
There was life before you,
None after you.
Any more innovative ways to break my heart baby?

Letters To Romeo; June

To Romeo,

it's the 30th Sunday. 1.32 am and i can't sleep!
somewhere you are crossing an ocean.
maybe u r already here.

i miss you.
and i've been missing you!

but i don't wanna text.
its like you are here and i wanna meet up.
i want to.
but cos u want to.
not because i miss you and u have to be nice.

and u r most likely to say,
"we must meet up"
then disappear
and send a text
"hey i'm back in London,
sorry i was really busy."

so i guess i have to wait til you go back to tell you.

i honestly wish there was a way i could make it all right.
i wish you liked me enough to over look that one mistake i made.
for all the mad ways i love you.
'cos im nowhere near a violent person.
it's been 5 years.
i guess you won't still ask me why
when i say i love you!

i'm sorry i'm making it weird.
it's not i want you to fall in love with me.
i just want you to know.
so when i finally move on, if i ever do
i will have the pleasure of knowing i didn't give up without a fight.

it's been 2 years since our best memories.
which by the way i still remember.
2 years is enough time to get over someone
who barely gave me anything.
but i think of you.
i still miss you.
i don't expect the same from you.
it's too much to ask from a man like you.

you have some amazing people around.
but if you ever need someone. i'm always here.
don't push me away.

i always have and i always will love you.
you will always have a special place in my heart!

Miss The Hell

Here I am sending you off with a kiss
Chase your rainbows and butterflies
You’re so caught up
In a world of fantasies and fairytales
You can’t see me bleeding before you

You’re a confused little boy
But you know we have something real
I know you feel it everytime we touch
You try to escape this feeling
But I know you feel exactly the way I do
And it scares you

Chorus:
I know you want me
But it’s messed up
I’m not gonna get down on my knees
I’m just gonna let you make your mistakes
And I hope he falls in love with you
God I really do, or one day
You gonna miss the hell out of me

You whisper sweet nothings in my ear
And try to make it up to me
I’m a fool in love baby
But I know you really don’t wanna stay
And im not the kind who’d beg you to

What we have is special
But it’s not enough, I get it
And I don’t need a half of your heart
I’ll move on, ill be better everyday
But you gonna miss the hell out of me
And it scares you

Chorus

I know you want something else
And I I’m just filling the gaps right now
You’re caught up in two worlds
You know I can give you everything you need
But some familiar feeling always gets you
Yet you always fall back to my touch
But I’m letting you go

Chorus


I hope he’ll fall in love with you
God help you if he won’t
you gonna miss the hell out of me.

Love And Sex And Magic!

YOU!
Strip me with your eyes
Undone me with your touch
Screw me with your kiss
Blow me with you breath
I,
Come,
Undone!

Things That Get Us Laid, Don't Get Us Love!

So true love... Why is it so hard to believe that somewhere, someone is there for us? Someone perfect. Now perfection is not created or made, it’s there even in the most awful flaws. Call it love. They say if you love some let them go, if they come back, it’s yours. But I refuse. I deny. I think if you love someone you should let them go only because if they really love you they’ll never let go. Because once you love someone there’s no ending to it. The only reasons to be with someone should be the simple fact that you can’t imagine life without them. Like they say, love someone not because you can be with them but because you can’t be without them. So they say, you should never let somebody miss you so much that they will actually learn how to be without you.

Loving takes time. Loving takes effort. So if you’re tired come over, lie down on my lap and we’ll watch movies together, or just lie down, damn it. What’s love if you just want to shut out? ‘Cos I want somebody who’d go the extra mile. Someone who knows what I want. Anybody can buy you a diamond ring but everybody can’t give you butterflies. Not everybody bothers walking you home on a rainy night after a date. Not everybody remembers a hug before leaving the room. Those are the little things that count. Those are the little things that make the big pictures. Those are the little things that screw you up while you lie down trying to let go. Those are the little things that matter the most. Sometimes when it comes to love maybe it’s not so bad that material things define love. Cos there are guys like me who counts every kiss, every text, every call, and every moment together that makes it so hard to deliver. Cos some of us are looking for that dancing in the rain, I’m crazy for you, here’s my heart it’s for you kindda love. .. Cos I’m a kindda guy who’d sit by the window, day after say clutching on my coffee ‘til you come back. That’s happiness to me.

Sometimes happiness is just getting use to the pain. Lady antebellum says “I rather hurt than feel nothing at all” I say “a beautiful song but the bitch is crazy.” I don’t think anyone felt that way since the invention of one night stands and free hugs day. Love is supposed to make you happy. Give you a reason to smile... when it doesn’t, it’s not always easy letting go. Two amazing people can’t always work things. An asshole shouldn’t define love for you. Don’t let anybody push you around or take you for granted. Don’t flatter yourself and think I give a damn; you must have mistaken me for somebody else. Somebody more like you, like what you try to make of me with a shield and no self-respect. Thing about shields is, when you have one, you think everybody else has one too. It’s just yours reflecting on them. We all know life the way we live it. A cheater thinks everybody else cheats, a whore thinks everybody whores, a lover think everybody loves, Not the case. So next time before you speak, think! ‘cos most of the time it’s you, not me.

There are important things in life. Work. Money. Fame but then you have to ask the question is it all worth it if you don’t have someone by your side? Someone who’d care for you and be there for you even when you don’t have much going on. Just you and me. Someone who might not have the world to give but who’d give everything he has. Ambitious is good but I guess love is better! There are no guarantees in life, it’s always a risk. Things that get us laid don’t get us love. Things that get us laid only makes it that much harder and confusing. When you’re good looking, at a certain point in your life, successful, recognizable or married. And sometimes we lose our way. Maybe that’s why sometimes we must just close our eyes and feel the touch. The honesty that can’t be told but can be only felt. When everyone might love you for what they see, I love you for what they can’t see. Cos in the end when the lights go off and its just two people all that matters is what two people share. All the false alarms, they can just shut it. But the thing is they always wake us up and you’ll lie down awake for the rest of your life an its sad when we can’t save people we love from making those mistakes when they are blinded by everything else that they have got going on.

So the thing is as long as you give in you’re the nice person, the moment you disagree you are wrong. Not everybody has to be a Harvey milk. Not everybody has to sacrifice their life to change the world. Sometimes it’s the little things you do that makes the whole difference. Just be yourself, that someone can look at you and see themselves to know that it’s ok to be who you are. To know that there’s someone who understands them, some one who won't judge them. Who knows, you might be saving a life. In silence! We have to live life by our rules. Thing is just because some people are willing to stick by people who treat them like stone and under appreciate them and show no respect doesn’t mean you have to be one of them because if you make a mistake you must say sorry, when someone is nice to you must appreciate it. You can’t always screw up, disappoint and go on like nothing is wrong. Because life is like that, we all should know what we deserve in life and if you feel under-appreciated an unhappy, slap yourself and get with it. If you fall short of giving yourself what you deserve, no one would. So keep them who make you happy closer and set apart from those who bring you down. Smile, feel, hope and believe in love.