So I’ve been reading about all the teen gay suicides this past weekend and its breaks my heart. And it feels so personal, like I can feel their pain, 'cos i know that feeling. It also sickens me how helpless I feel that there’s nothing much I can do about it. Mostly because that there’s somuch that can be done but I live in a country that being gay is illegal so there’s no way anyone could address this matter in the open but in hiding.
And it kindda makes me mad when an American commit suicide for being bullied. I know it doesn’t matter where you are ,being bullied is hard. Heart breaking and shameful. But try living in an Asian country where being gay is illegal and such a social taboo that can leave you homeless and jobless. Does being insulted still sound like a big deal? Especially when there’s somuch help all around. Don’t get me wrong, I just wish they chose life.
I know it’s not easy when you’re 13 and have to go to school and to be told things that are hard to tolerate. But suicide? I can’t believe how easy lot of these people living in developed countries have it, that everything little thing is such a big deal. It’s like all those spoiled rich kids I know who find it traumatizing to skip lunch to do a group assignment!
Yet, it’s heart breaking ‘cos I know our problems are our own and they are the biggest we know. It’s heart-breaking to know these beautiful people will never live to see the changes that are coming. The better days that are yet to come. And happy days. Graduation. First date. Next Glee episode. New gaga music. Maybe a gay president some day. If African Americans found suicide to be an easy answer during civil rights movement we may never have seen an African-American president. For things we believe, we have to fight. If Mr & Mrs Lovers thought suicide was the easy way out, we wouldn’t have seen interracial matrimonial. Sometimes life is not easy but it gets better, Always.The results you'll see are priceless and might change the world someday.
I live in an Asian country. I live in a place homosexuality is a crime. I live in place where homosexuality is a taboo. I live in a place where homosexuality is a best kept secret. I live in a place where homosexuality is almost a myth. I live in a place where my homosexuality is the most powerful weapon against me. But I still choose to live. Choose to love. Choose to fight for my rights. But I’d be lying if I say I haven’t considered suicide. Sometimes what seems like the only option. -The easy way out. But I was lucky there was more love in my life than hate. And looking back I see how small they all seem. How non-significant and irrelevant! It’s sad some of us never live pass that dark moment to realize this.
How do we let some people get so lonely? People around us. People we know. People we love. How many of us walk away when we can help.
The thing is, a well lived life is the best revenge. ‘cos if you go through with suicide, the people who led you up to it will eventually forget it. Get over it. Seek help maybe. But the truth is they will get over it and move on to live their life. Whose loss?
If you’re considering suicide, remember the ones who love you. Your family. The pain you’re leaving behind. The untold story. Is all that pain worth your easy escape? Don’t prove the ignorant ones right.Prove them that you deserve to be here as much as them.They may seem stronger but love will get you through. Seek help. Call a hot line. Anonymous chat rooms. Just talk. Prove them wrong. Live your life. Achieve what you may.
They say you’re not defined by your sexual orientation. But the truth is, you’re sexual orientation is part of what you are. It shapes you and defines you to a certain percentage. So deal with it. Self-acceptance is the key. When you love your self there’s rarely space for hate to creep in. deal with it, you’re gay. You’re a homosexual. You’re a fag. It doesn’t matter what they call you. Heterosexual will not take offense at pussy licker. Should you take offense at cock sucker? When you stop paying attention to their hate, when they realize that they don’t intimidate you, eventually hate will stop. When you don’t give them what they expect, they will stop. Don’t let them take pleasure out of your pain. Stay strong. Smile, love. Live.
I know sometimes nothing seems right. Sometime no-one seems to understand but remember you’re never alone. You’re not the only one who feels that way and always remember that If you make it through the rough times and live to tell your stories you might save someone’s life. You might change your world and someone else’s with your courage! But if you take the easy way, you might set an example to many struggling teenagers around you that this might be the only answer. So decide for yourself, will you give up or hold on to see the difference. The change, even if it’s in tiny steps, but that we certainly see coming. Will you give up or live to see the better days and tell the story to someone like you to hold on to the truth that ItGetsBetter?
Smile. Love. Live. because, always, ItGetsBetter!
