life, love & sex.

So I started to think about the birds and the butterflies. You know; Sex, love and life and everything in between. And how confusing one with another can mess up your mental health and how we try so hard to convince one of it is another. Let me say, sex is not love and arguably life is not love. And the moment you believe what some neurotic person said, something like “you don’t really live until you fall in love or something,” you’re doomed. Doomed for life. And from then on you start living your life thinking you’re some pathetic lonely person who’s gonna die alone and you’re not pretty or worth of anything, but like really? stop whatever the television shows you're watching.


Now don’t get me wrong, falling in love is a beautiful thing. but it’s not everything and certainly not something you should do just because you’re lonely. Its something that must happen because someone brings more color to your life. You should never be with someone to add color to your life.


Now sex, love and all these things can be confusing. Or we make them to be. Or we just pretend them to be so we can tell ourselves all the mindless orgasms are out of love or all the heartache we bear for love is worth it ‘cos life is like that. As long as there’s someone to blame I think we’re all fine with sex, love and life and living in a constant confusion.


I wonder why we even have sex? Most of the time it’s just to make yourself feel good, to tell yourselves that you still got it. But what you should know is sex is not that hard to find, specially when no-one makes love anymore like in those old Hollywood movies. Walk in the parks and holding hands are silly acts, it’s all about closed doors and beds now. so when you tap some ass, spare me the details, it only annoys me and shows your insecurities. getting laid is so mediocre, Do we even believe anyone below thirteen is a virgin anymore? Even if they hardly knew how to kiss properly or give a toe clutching blow job while you could hear his heart pumping out of his chest?


We all have become just animals running after our next prey. Not that I’m saying that there’s anything wrong with it. As long as you knows who's the hunter and who's the prey. Someone said “there’s only a little difference between being sexually liberated and being used.” And that's the same meaning I wanna bring to the terms man whore and a slut. And I wish people knew the difference between quantity and quality and cute smile and puppy eyes is not quality.


Now, wondering the difference between a man whore and a slut? Slut is cheap hooker who’d sleep with anyone or anything to make themselves feel good. To feel you’re worth it, only to be used and dumped like a piece of trash most probably. But these ones are no any less proud about all the meat they’ve had. A Man whore on the other hand are a sacred kind. They sure do sleep with a many of them but they select and choose who they want. Now the next time you use these term, do responsibly.


I know life, love and sex can bring us down sometime. But it all comes down to the control we all have on each of it. Don’t believe what anyone say, make your own rules. Don’t wait for someone to come and love you, start today by loving yourself. Make your life happen. Don’t let anybody tell you, you can’t. its these simple things that will go a long way. so when sex happens you'll have control. when love happens, you'll be whole anyway. and if life brings you down, you'll know how to get right back up.


So believe. Live. Love and make love.

Break Another Little Piece Of My Heart!

The thing about break ups is nomatter how many you’ve had before, the next one always hurts the worst, It’s like you somehow manage to fall a little deeper each time. Give a little more. Wish a little harder. And nomatter who calls the shots, the pain is never any less. It’s like we always wish for a little more, more memories, more pain, more damage. Maybe instead of getting wiser, every time we fall in love we lose a little more of our heads with our hearts. What if we give away a little piece of our hearts everytime we fall in love and eventually we ran out?

Sometimes love is like a great trailer to a movie we never got to see. We build all these hopes and expectations that we crash even harder. Better the memories, greater the pain. Why do we always let someone in so that they can walk away leaving memories so bitter sweet that you’re never sure if you’d ever pick yourself up from the floor? Why do we always wish for happiness like it’s a missing puzzle wrapped in someone else’s fingers? Are we just looking for someone to blame when everything fails?

Can we love someone too much that we have to let go?

Maybe it’s not so much the pain of losing. It’s the fact that they move on without us that hurts. As much as it hurts to imagine them being touched by someone else, It’s also a competitions, who will get laid before, who will find someone else first. There’s only gonna be more songs that we’re never gonna be able to listen to. Moment that will go back to that will make us smile for a moment and break us a little more forever. Friends that will be put in spot, friends that will have to come for rescue. Calories that will take years to take off. Dark circles under our eyes and silly break up songs that will make even Taylor Swift look cliché.

Numbers just keep going higher and chances just keep going lower with hope that someday we all will find love; the teaching that we all have that someone special who will sweep us off our feet. Maybe it’s that our expectations are too high and our tolerance levels are too low, we all want love but noone want to compromise. whatever it maybe, where is the love? We keep looking, we keep longing, maybe all the wrong things at the wrong places. But hearts are meant to love, not for perfections. Maybe they should have come with their owe virus guard, a programme that could erase all the pain instantly. That one day you’re gonna wake up feeling like everything fine.

If anything a break up should teach us is not to fall in love, but, maybe the wonder in it is that we still do. That’s what magical. Maybe its better to love with a broken heart, that you will hve that many little pieces to love with.

It’s this unbearable feeling of loneliness that kills you the most. The feeling that keeps you from turning off the lights and falling asleep. Just as you have gotten over the fear of monsters and scary creature under your bed, There comes a feeling that scares you the most, Loneliness. It doesn’t matter even if you have been a long distance relationship for months, the moment things fall apart this wave of emotions hit you like you’re all alone in a tiny room. Nomatter who’s by your side this feeling cannot be fought. Maybe it’s this feeling of loneliness that drives us to the utter madness of falling in love again.

I can’t even begin to understand why we keep doing this over and over and over again. Jump head first hoping to be saved. It’s a good thing that hearts don’t wear out with each heartache. It’s a good thing heart attacks are not caused by loving too much? How long would we have lived for? With all this pain and heartache I can’t stop but ask myself, eventually we will all find love, right?

Faith!

So the church going, praying two times a day, go partying wearing a rosary around his neck boy walked into a room with an upside down cross. it felt weird. Evil. I thought for a minute what to say? Then I thought if I should say anything at all? It’s 21st century and everyone has the right for self-expression, it rude to question anyone’s’ artistic or in my head devilish expressions. Everytime I looked at the cross, I had images of Jesus in my head, what would he say? Would he condemn me for not proclaiming his power?

I was wearing a rosary around my neck and my friend said “that’s very offensive,” my other friend pointed at the African tribal necklace she was wearing and said “well X someone would find what you’re wearing offensive.” So faith? Does it need defending?

When the Da Vinci code was released and when it was banned I thought to myself, I believe in Jesus. He came, died on the cross and delivered what he was supposed to. It didn’t matter to me if he was married or had a child. Some one might question if it’s faith or just justification? But why should it really matter as long as he saved the world.

Faith is not just about religion. It’s faith in ourselves. In the ones we love. Faith that everything is gonna be alright. Tell me, would you rather have faith in me and keep me or doubt me and lose me? Why is it so hard to believe that I honestly care for u! I believe it’s a gift to have the power to believe in something you can’t see, touch or explain. What’s love? What good if you don’t wanna just close your eyes and just jump head first, not even knowing someone would catch you!

It’s amazing how we could get into a cab and trust a stranger with our lives. Its funny how we can pick up some guy and have a one-night stand, but when it comes to love, creeps in all the doubts. Isn’t easier when u believe in something.? When you have something to hold on to, somebody to blame. What use if we don’t have the power to believe in something we can touch. Something we can’t see. But just feel all around us. Is love that unreal? A touch that makes you feel everything’s gonna be ok. All you’ve just gotta have is some Faith-ah, faith-ah-faith-ah!

Call me crazy but I have faith in wishing on fallen eyelashes, 11:11 and totally, totally on shooting stars. And nomatter how many times I’ve been disappointed, I still have faith that as promised love will indeed conquer it all!

Faith is a gift, I believe! Sometimes to close your eyes and tell yourself that everyday is not gonna be the same. To look into the eyes of someone you love and know, they didn’t really mean to hurt you. Hold the hand of someone you love and know, goodbyes are not forever. It takes faith. I don’t know how to learn it, how to teach it or even how to preach it. It’s a wonderful gift.

We’ve all been let down and misunderstood. It’s not somuch religion but everything around us. Maybe it’s true, we just need something to hang on to, something to blame on when we screw up, but to hell with it, it feels dama good to believe. It dosen’t really matter what you believe in, Jesus or Lady Gaga, we all need something to hang onto. Something to pull us through our darkest times and without faith everything is just empty. So all I want is for you to believe. Have some faith in something. Preferably Me.
You.
And Love.