The thing about break ups is nomatter how many you’ve had before, the next one always hurts the worst, It’s like you somehow manage to fall a little deeper each time. Give a little more. Wish a little harder. And nomatter who calls the shots, the pain is never any less. It’s like we always wish for a little more, more memories, more pain, more damage. Maybe instead of getting wiser, every time we fall in love we lose a little more of our heads with our hearts. What if we give away a little piece of our hearts everytime we fall in love and eventually we ran out?
Sometimes love is like a great trailer to a movie we never got to see. We build all these hopes and expectations that we crash even harder. Better the memories, greater the pain. Why do we always let someone in so that they can walk away leaving memories so bitter sweet that you’re never sure if you’d ever pick yourself up from the floor? Why do we always wish for happiness like it’s a missing puzzle wrapped in someone else’s fingers? Are we just looking for someone to blame when everything fails?
Can we love someone too much that we have to let go?
Maybe it’s not so much the pain of losing. It’s the fact that they move on without us that hurts. As much as it hurts to imagine them being touched by someone else, It’s also a competitions, who will get laid before, who will find someone else first. There’s only gonna be more songs that we’re never gonna be able to listen to. Moment that will go back to that will make us smile for a moment and break us a little more forever. Friends that will be put in spot, friends that will have to come for rescue. Calories that will take years to take off. Dark circles under our eyes and silly break up songs that will make even Taylor Swift look cliché.
Numbers just keep going higher and chances just keep going lower with hope that someday we all will find love; the teaching that we all have that someone special who will sweep us off our feet. Maybe it’s that our expectations are too high and our tolerance levels are too low, we all want love but noone want to compromise. whatever it maybe, where is the love? We keep looking, we keep longing, maybe all the wrong things at the wrong places. But hearts are meant to love, not for perfections. Maybe they should have come with their owe virus guard, a programme that could erase all the pain instantly. That one day you’re gonna wake up feeling like everything fine.
If anything a break up should teach us is not to fall in love, but, maybe the wonder in it is that we still do. That’s what magical. Maybe its better to love with a broken heart, that you will hve that many little pieces to love with.
It’s this unbearable feeling of loneliness that kills you the most. The feeling that keeps you from turning off the lights and falling asleep. Just as you have gotten over the fear of monsters and scary creature under your bed, There comes a feeling that scares you the most, Loneliness. It doesn’t matter even if you have been a long distance relationship for months, the moment things fall apart this wave of emotions hit you like you’re all alone in a tiny room. Nomatter who’s by your side this feeling cannot be fought. Maybe it’s this feeling of loneliness that drives us to the utter madness of falling in love again.
I can’t even begin to understand why we keep doing this over and over and over again. Jump head first hoping to be saved. It’s a good thing that hearts don’t wear out with each heartache. It’s a good thing heart attacks are not caused by loving too much? How long would we have lived for? With all this pain and heartache I can’t stop but ask myself, eventually we will all find love, right?
Decide
13 years ago
